u know..smth happened.
i dun wanna elaborate.
i wish life was alot simpler. choices dun involve sacrifises
that i could lift and smile again
i know if this was over. its really is the end. no more sunshine or sunrise anymore in my life.
i would never b able to face it
i realise as u grow older
u face more stuff
u blog bout alot more horrid stuff
stuff that u will grow to face
stuff that will force ur courage to grow
stuff that will force u to a corner
to know sumthings u do..u can never turn back. it would only become
for better or for worst. only the lord knows.

lord father, hear me cry.
i need u..to give me the support i need.
to forgive me this sinner and give me a chance again
father i'm sorry, u know how difficult it was for me.
u know it blows out the last flame in my life.i really fucking hate myself for this.
but i know its the best way out for everythin and everyone.
i know 20..30 yrs later. i will retink, regret and stuff.
i know lord, its a gift. its really beautiful but i cant do it.u know i cant.
i know u tink i'm foolish god, i know i am. help me not blame myself lord, help me find redemption in my soul.
let the blood of jesus wash through me. purify my soul to give me forgiveness
i seek ur forgiveness and comfort.
i seek ur love and courage
i seek ur peace and wisdom
i seek for determination and optimisism.
i praise u my god, i really understand how painful it is now. and i exalt u, i give u my most earnest bow and respect. god, help me.

i agree..
its a damn nice show
6 more weeks and i'm goin home!=))
i miss my frenz,,goodness i miss an,jessie and eugene. :D

i'm willing as u know as u can see..
to do anythin,,to go any distance.
to make e day beta for both of us.
when u were in debt, i gave up driving, to work.
even when workin i dun even dare to go for lunch breaks cos mus break for an hr
which means less 1 hr pay.
sometimes, i dunno y god created woman this way.
to give so much, willingly, for man.
i dream of jobs against integrity.
i worked for jobs that require me to put down my chasity and pride.
i wonder what gave me so much strength then.
i would always wipe every tear that happen to flow due to tiredness or anythin else and work till i drop.

i wonder will any man remember.
my foolishness.
i wonder if there's any guy that will always keep that few months close and dear to his heart and love me,thankfully with every inch in his heart.
if there is, i'm not kiddin, i'll marry him

i may be givin u gifts that ur previous gf have given b4.
but understand i realy rack my brains to give u the gift cos i really mean it with all my heart.
i hope u'll treasure them as much as those similar gifts others have given u.
i hope u'll know, i can giv u everythin they can
as well as everythin no girl can ever.

i miss ya love..lol..all my headings are rather simliar nowadays..
i wish u would blog more..
at least i can re-read it many times..
i wun be able to tok to ya tomolo i tink
got international students trip till like 7 at nite..
watch sumthin..
this gal got angry wif a man for 30 years.
when he finally figured out why..
there was a beautiful reunion

u know..i was suppose to dress up one day for my international nite..
cos it was semi-formal.
i felt i really was pretty that nite.
u know what i wore.
jus a t-shirt and jeans. really, when everyone was in dresses.
because. i wore ur necklace with me. dunno y..
jus remember wat u said when u gave it to me.
"u may not mean anythin to him, but u are my moon and my stars"
it sounds corny and weird.
but it warms me to tink of it. i really miss ya dar. =))

really lookin forward to our reunion.

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