Wednesday, February 27, 2008
read my fav's lecturer's bk jus..
one chapter..did it quite quickly
i yearn for fiction books to be sweeped away by its contends.
but i'm afraid i will lose my momentum for non-fiction so i hardly dar pick it up.
i really feel quite sore for wilson.
his words caught my heart.
the song if we hold on to tgt has endless endless memories.
have u ever wonder abt ur pas.
how it seems so vivid sore..painful yet sweet?
there were so many silly things i did
i rmber first hearin tis song when i jus entered xinmin
one of the first few days of orientation
back den. tis song was so beautiful in campfire night.
realli reallie lovely how we held hands with strangers to sing.
tis song is a xinmin memory song to me.i rmbered crying while holdin mr lee's hands when he left n tis song was the backgrd music.
i told myself. not to cry. he was a fatherly figure to me.
when he hugged me n clasp both of my lil hands into his warm palm.
he jus told me "sam.i have hopes in u, take care and dream for the school."
i did. i did alot of mistakes as an SL. i noe that i was handpicked.
i noe i would be officially president if i din screw up due to emotions.
i regret leaving the board due to pressure. mr lee.i'm sorry.
i rmber singing tis in shanghai trip. whr tears flowed due to immature handling of r/s with yao min.
i'm sorry yao min. if i can i wanna make up to u for lying for bein so harsh.
i should have rejected u properly. pls live better than me. u deserve the best my fren.
yao min. i'm sorry.
francine.i loved u so much as a fren.
i dunno y did u hurt me so may times.
mayb i wasn't good enough.
i reallie din tell JR to leave u for sumone better.
i said "u should leave her if u tink u dun like her so much"
i felt that he was unfair to u. i noe u hated me for he is a prince charming.
mayb i din put words clear. mayb i should have never said anithin.
i really said because i cared i truely truely cared.
will u wanna see ur fren being lied to?i tot like it would be better if he leave u cos he's nt that gd.
i'm sorry francine.
mijuan.oh god i'm sorry.
u pour ur heart to me n i am a fucking bitch about the daryl incident.
i din fall for him
he fell for me first. we din really started. but he did break my heart.
i din lie abt jac. u guys would haf known in sec 4. u guys "un-veiled" her wif yi an.
i miss our friendship.
mijuan, i'm sorry. i truely am.
jus for u to noe. i laughed becos i wanted to cry so badly and i felt so bad that i din noe how to react. not becos i undermine our friendship. u were truely a best fren to me.
marilyn,wei lian.
i'm sorry. for not being truthful.
i'm sorry chin hao for not being truthful and making use of ur name.
i noe u noe wat i did and u forgive me. but thank u for standin by me.
i will never forget wat u told jac and francine.
chin hao, i'm sorry.
wilson,samuel.
i'm sorry for rejecting for not keepin in contact.
for always draggin both of u down in npcc.
i'm sorry sam. i noe u would have been SI if it wasn't for me blamin u abt squad responsibilites.
samuel, i'm sorry.
i'm sorry taiwei, kok hiong.
i should have nt lead u on. i'm sorry.
i wanna say sorry jac. for speakin behind ur back.
i'm sorry.
yuan long, i'm sorry.
i should have been more understanding.
i should have not always blamed u and place u in a bad light.
i'm sorry.
benjamin foo. u're sumone special to me.
have always been. my heart always wants to reach out to u.
but i left u there. i'm sorry
josh,jon,qiaoli,chengwai,HO
thank u for standing by me
i'm sorry to fail u.
to paul. if u ever see this dear.
i'm sorry. i did have negative tots about u.
and i did say negative stuff about u before which is not true.
love, i'm sorry.
sam yin. i hate u. but i miss u. i wish u happiness. i am sorry for sayin negative things when we were young. although u did ur fair share of horrid stuff. i'm sorry.
kailing, i'm sorry for making use of u. i'm sorry.
one chapter..did it quite quickly
i yearn for fiction books to be sweeped away by its contends.
but i'm afraid i will lose my momentum for non-fiction so i hardly dar pick it up.
i really feel quite sore for wilson.
his words caught my heart.
the song if we hold on to tgt has endless endless memories.
have u ever wonder abt ur pas.
how it seems so vivid sore..painful yet sweet?
there were so many silly things i did
i rmber first hearin tis song when i jus entered xinmin
one of the first few days of orientation
back den. tis song was so beautiful in campfire night.
realli reallie lovely how we held hands with strangers to sing.
tis song is a xinmin memory song to me.i rmbered crying while holdin mr lee's hands when he left n tis song was the backgrd music.
i told myself. not to cry. he was a fatherly figure to me.
when he hugged me n clasp both of my lil hands into his warm palm.
he jus told me "sam.i have hopes in u, take care and dream for the school."
i did. i did alot of mistakes as an SL. i noe that i was handpicked.
i noe i would be officially president if i din screw up due to emotions.
i regret leaving the board due to pressure. mr lee.i'm sorry.
i rmber singing tis in shanghai trip. whr tears flowed due to immature handling of r/s with yao min.
i'm sorry yao min. if i can i wanna make up to u for lying for bein so harsh.
i should have rejected u properly. pls live better than me. u deserve the best my fren.
yao min. i'm sorry.
francine.i loved u so much as a fren.
i dunno y did u hurt me so may times.
mayb i wasn't good enough.
i reallie din tell JR to leave u for sumone better.
i said "u should leave her if u tink u dun like her so much"
i felt that he was unfair to u. i noe u hated me for he is a prince charming.
mayb i din put words clear. mayb i should have never said anithin.
i really said because i cared i truely truely cared.
will u wanna see ur fren being lied to?i tot like it would be better if he leave u cos he's nt that gd.
i'm sorry francine.
mijuan.oh god i'm sorry.
u pour ur heart to me n i am a fucking bitch about the daryl incident.
i din fall for him
he fell for me first. we din really started. but he did break my heart.
i din lie abt jac. u guys would haf known in sec 4. u guys "un-veiled" her wif yi an.
i miss our friendship.
mijuan, i'm sorry. i truely am.
jus for u to noe. i laughed becos i wanted to cry so badly and i felt so bad that i din noe how to react. not becos i undermine our friendship. u were truely a best fren to me.
marilyn,wei lian.
i'm sorry. for not being truthful.
i'm sorry chin hao for not being truthful and making use of ur name.
i noe u noe wat i did and u forgive me. but thank u for standin by me.
i will never forget wat u told jac and francine.
chin hao, i'm sorry.
wilson,samuel.
i'm sorry for rejecting for not keepin in contact.
for always draggin both of u down in npcc.
i'm sorry sam. i noe u would have been SI if it wasn't for me blamin u abt squad responsibilites.
samuel, i'm sorry.
i'm sorry taiwei, kok hiong.
i should have nt lead u on. i'm sorry.
i wanna say sorry jac. for speakin behind ur back.
i'm sorry.
yuan long, i'm sorry.
i should have been more understanding.
i should have not always blamed u and place u in a bad light.
i'm sorry.
benjamin foo. u're sumone special to me.
have always been. my heart always wants to reach out to u.
but i left u there. i'm sorry
josh,jon,qiaoli,chengwai,HO
thank u for standing by me
i'm sorry to fail u.
to paul. if u ever see this dear.
i'm sorry. i did have negative tots about u.
and i did say negative stuff about u before which is not true.
love, i'm sorry.
sam yin. i hate u. but i miss u. i wish u happiness. i am sorry for sayin negative things when we were young. although u did ur fair share of horrid stuff. i'm sorry.
kailing, i'm sorry for making use of u. i'm sorry.
moments captured! Wednesday, February 27, 2008.
Saturday, February 23, 2008
u noe..i spend a few hrs roaming arnd peiling's blog today
as in paul's peiling
i always see in her a really unique character
one who is nt afraid to stand up for herself..right or wrong
n probably because everybody..
tend to compare both of us.
whenever i ask paul
are we alike
he'll realli tell me.."no love..u're very different"
he meant it..
n i noe he feels i give more..love him more..
n is definately more worthy of his love.
when i look at her.
i realli wonder. what was it like.
accordin to him. it was tiring..painful n quarrelsome.
but i see a gal fighting for wat she wants.
although i dont agree. but afterall life is about choices.
as a gf.i would plead that u rmber that u haf a choice
1.to love him more
2. to love urself more.
obviously i'm option one. while she's e rare few to be option 2.
she's spunky,spirited,strong,not compromising.
i dun necessarily approve but i do envy sumhow.
she and malcolm broke and she had another guy.
she said that she dun wanna blame herself for its him who place work above her.
den again i qn. she placed work above paul den.
its like an endless cycle.
paul was extremely sweet today.=)
he made it up for all the romance i need whilst bein here.
he din do much.
we jus chatted. and when i begin askin him silly gal qns.he used a really touchin way to answer me.
"dear, will u always love me?"
his reply was a song by wang lee hom
"ai de jiu ni"
"dear dear, will u fall for another gal"
his reply was a song by liu de hua
"wo de xing zhi neng rong na ni"
he told me, he wanted to say smth to me but dun realli noe how to put it.
the next song he paste was
"ni shi wo zhe yi sheng zui da de jiao ao"
he never ever said dat to me before. *tears*
and i ask him wat he wants from me.
his reply was tis song.
"i want to grow old with you" by adam.
everytime i chat with him
i would always ask this questions.
i guess this time i noe all the answers properly, in the most heart reaching manner.
with lyrics touching my heart. =)
i guess every man has flaws..every guy has vices. i tink he understands tis time.
by reporting to me and his fren contacting me
i truely hope with all my heart tis will be the end of it.
unlike peiling who chose to walk away
that i din regret staying by him.
love in my situation. maybe called foolishness or being naive.
but who in this world can judge my love?is love even rational in the first place?
i will continue to cry and feel heartaches through my r/s no doubt
but i noe that love to me is not a game of compromise
nor is it govern by the law of give and take.
i give because i love and because i want to.
and i only expect a lil love in return.
as in paul's peiling
i always see in her a really unique character
one who is nt afraid to stand up for herself..right or wrong
n probably because everybody..
tend to compare both of us.
whenever i ask paul
are we alike
he'll realli tell me.."no love..u're very different"
he meant it..
n i noe he feels i give more..love him more..
n is definately more worthy of his love.
when i look at her.
i realli wonder. what was it like.
accordin to him. it was tiring..painful n quarrelsome.
but i see a gal fighting for wat she wants.
although i dont agree. but afterall life is about choices.
as a gf.i would plead that u rmber that u haf a choice
1.to love him more
2. to love urself more.
obviously i'm option one. while she's e rare few to be option 2.
she's spunky,spirited,strong,not compromising.
i dun necessarily approve but i do envy sumhow.
she and malcolm broke and she had another guy.
she said that she dun wanna blame herself for its him who place work above her.
den again i qn. she placed work above paul den.
its like an endless cycle.
paul was extremely sweet today.=)
he made it up for all the romance i need whilst bein here.
he din do much.
we jus chatted. and when i begin askin him silly gal qns.he used a really touchin way to answer me.
"dear, will u always love me?"
his reply was a song by wang lee hom
"ai de jiu ni"
"dear dear, will u fall for another gal"
his reply was a song by liu de hua
"wo de xing zhi neng rong na ni"
he told me, he wanted to say smth to me but dun realli noe how to put it.
the next song he paste was
"ni shi wo zhe yi sheng zui da de jiao ao"
he never ever said dat to me before. *tears*
and i ask him wat he wants from me.
his reply was tis song.
"i want to grow old with you" by adam.
everytime i chat with him
i would always ask this questions.
i guess this time i noe all the answers properly, in the most heart reaching manner.
with lyrics touching my heart. =)
i guess every man has flaws..every guy has vices. i tink he understands tis time.
by reporting to me and his fren contacting me
i truely hope with all my heart tis will be the end of it.
unlike peiling who chose to walk away
that i din regret staying by him.
love in my situation. maybe called foolishness or being naive.
but who in this world can judge my love?is love even rational in the first place?
i will continue to cry and feel heartaches through my r/s no doubt
but i noe that love to me is not a game of compromise
nor is it govern by the law of give and take.
i give because i love and because i want to.
and i only expect a lil love in return.
moments captured! Saturday, February 23, 2008.
Thursday, February 21, 2008
wo yi zhi zai xiang
wei she me wo wei ni zhou zhe me duo.
i'm jus a simple gal
i dun ask for die-hard romance
i also never request for 5Cs..
i jus ask of my bf to be decent lookin..of a rather ok character n to have average bad vices(eg.watch porn play com games..addicted to cars) i'm fine with dat
sumtimes i jus dunno wat to do animore.
dunno whr the road will take us
i cant see e future as clear as the past
i jus learn to accept n compromise in watever i expect till i am so numb abt it.
i miss e carefree days whrby there were many arnd to love n care for me.
des.ben.eugene.wilson.samuel.feng yuan.
i miss them.
i miss havin not to tink of them onli as and when weekeneds come.(prata or chilling or ATF)
i wish to be more independent n i shall try for these 2 days.
mayb u wun even realise it.=D
i shall concentrate on my essay.
or i dunno. i miss des. my portable shoulder to cry on.lol
but i know bein a woman. this resolution will onli last 5 mins.
ARGH!GOD!be arnd me pls.
oh n make me go to church more.=(
woman..seriously a species of conflicting thoughts
a failure in surpressing emotions.
a total mess up fantasy dream weaver.
a body of tears,jealousy n angiush.
a sucker to men.
wei she me wo wei ni zhou zhe me duo.
i'm jus a simple gal
i dun ask for die-hard romance
i also never request for 5Cs..
i jus ask of my bf to be decent lookin..of a rather ok character n to have average bad vices(eg.watch porn play com games..addicted to cars) i'm fine with dat
sumtimes i jus dunno wat to do animore.
dunno whr the road will take us
i cant see e future as clear as the past
i jus learn to accept n compromise in watever i expect till i am so numb abt it.
i miss e carefree days whrby there were many arnd to love n care for me.
des.ben.eugene.wilson.samuel.feng yuan.
i miss them.
i miss havin not to tink of them onli as and when weekeneds come.(prata or chilling or ATF)
i wish to be more independent n i shall try for these 2 days.
mayb u wun even realise it.=D
i shall concentrate on my essay.
or i dunno. i miss des. my portable shoulder to cry on.lol
but i know bein a woman. this resolution will onli last 5 mins.
ARGH!GOD!be arnd me pls.
oh n make me go to church more.=(
woman..seriously a species of conflicting thoughts
a failure in surpressing emotions.
a total mess up fantasy dream weaver.
a body of tears,jealousy n angiush.
a sucker to men.
moments captured! Thursday, February 21, 2008.
Monday, February 18, 2008
i'm fuckin pissed
i look like a fucking damn snake
i have SCALES..I AM FUCKING SERIOUS
ITS SO DAMN ITCHY
I TINK I CAN KILL MYSELF.
ARGH!
lookin at myself tis way sucks!wat have i done?
y isn't anyone able to tell me wat sickness is tis?
i am losin concentration to do work..it jus gets itchy n like i cant do anymore work.
FUCK!
hais..
*hugs eugene*..poor ya..
but u noe..rejection is part n parcel of life.
u'll meet tis superb gal in future.
better than me..than her..like ALOT.
he misses me so badly on his blog n on msn.
it was like the first time he actualli told me
"u noe same..i reallie miss u"..
its not the couple kinda i miss u..or is it family longing
its emptiness n loneliness..its bein so sad till u cant cry
n the first person u tink of..the person whom u wish to lean onto.
*pats eugene on the back*..
i know its nt easy.but my fren..i'm here..have always byn since 2006.=)
but i doubt anyone will dare touch me now.
chris screamed when he saw my rashes becos i forgot n took off my coat.
*sadden*
tis is a time whrby i miss sg doctors loads.
i look like a fucking damn snake
i have SCALES..I AM FUCKING SERIOUS
ITS SO DAMN ITCHY
I TINK I CAN KILL MYSELF.
ARGH!
lookin at myself tis way sucks!wat have i done?
y isn't anyone able to tell me wat sickness is tis?
i am losin concentration to do work..it jus gets itchy n like i cant do anymore work.
FUCK!
hais..
*hugs eugene*..poor ya..
but u noe..rejection is part n parcel of life.
u'll meet tis superb gal in future.
better than me..than her..like ALOT.
he misses me so badly on his blog n on msn.
it was like the first time he actualli told me
"u noe same..i reallie miss u"..
its not the couple kinda i miss u..or is it family longing
its emptiness n loneliness..its bein so sad till u cant cry
n the first person u tink of..the person whom u wish to lean onto.
*pats eugene on the back*..
i know its nt easy.but my fren..i'm here..have always byn since 2006.=)
but i doubt anyone will dare touch me now.
chris screamed when he saw my rashes becos i forgot n took off my coat.
*sadden*
tis is a time whrby i miss sg doctors loads.
moments captured! Monday, February 18, 2008.
Sunday, February 03, 2008
u know..
i realli dun blame u
i wonder why myself..
i noe u tink u're nt good enuff
but u are..
all humans have flaws..
i thank god for ur honesty..i thank god for everythin that he has given me in u..
no matter how good or how bad it is..
i noe n i trust in the lord for the obstacles he placed along the way..
n i am really thankful for u
we'll go thru this like how we go thru everythin hao mahs..
a couple dun onli share happiness..but tears..
i hope we're one that shares especially tears..
i rmber this sayin..like e lord walks along side with u..
but if u see onli one set of footprints..
it doesn't mean he left u
it jus means he's carrying u...
u know love..
its my turn to piggyback u..=)
i realli dun blame u
i wonder why myself..
i noe u tink u're nt good enuff
but u are..
all humans have flaws..
i thank god for ur honesty..i thank god for everythin that he has given me in u..
no matter how good or how bad it is..
i noe n i trust in the lord for the obstacles he placed along the way..
n i am really thankful for u
we'll go thru this like how we go thru everythin hao mahs..
a couple dun onli share happiness..but tears..
i hope we're one that shares especially tears..
i rmber this sayin..like e lord walks along side with u..
but if u see onli one set of footprints..
it doesn't mean he left u
it jus means he's carrying u...
u know love..
its my turn to piggyback u..=)
moments captured! Sunday, February 03, 2008.
Saturday, February 02, 2008
i am..
i am super mean
i wan sumone who will let me prick
be immune to my prickin
love me..
gif in to all my cries n nonsense..listen to me
share my dreams..encourage me
love me..give in to me..
piggyback me..=.=
i noe..u're here..
its jus so far away..=(
i'm sorry for bein so mean..i noe i just super mean in watever i say
i dunno y do i keep doin that
dun tok to me
ignore me hao mahs..but
haiya..i realli dunno wat to do..
y do u love me so much...>.< will it ever end?=(
i am super mean
i wan sumone who will let me prick
be immune to my prickin
love me..
gif in to all my cries n nonsense..listen to me
share my dreams..encourage me
love me..give in to me..
piggyback me..=.=
i noe..u're here..
its jus so far away..=(
i'm sorry for bein so mean..i noe i just super mean in watever i say
i dunno y do i keep doin that
dun tok to me
ignore me hao mahs..but
haiya..i realli dunno wat to do..
y do u love me so much...>.< will it ever end?=(
moments captured! Saturday, February 02, 2008.